these are secrets.

i am at that point
where i don't know what i feel or what it is
and i am apathetic in my life, or maybe just so damn bored.

i am ready for something to change.
for something big to happen, to keep me interested, entertained.
and it's not at all like i am dissatisfied with anything in my life.
i love everything i have and i wouldn't give it up for the world.

i just live the same day over and over again, even when it's different.
i see the same faces, i hear the same words.
i weather the same insults and reject the same compliments.
i say the same things, over and over.
like my italian class, when it has me repeat the phrase over and over and over and i still can't pronounce it just right.

and when i sleep i dream and it gets me by.
and i read to become someone else
who has new adventures, who cries and who laughs.

and don't get me wrong, i cry and i laugh.
and i know that i am happy with everything here.
i am just feeling myself slip into the monotony of apathy.
i just want something to HAPPEN.

i think i need to spend more time outside alone.

i feel used.
i want to throw myself away.

let's get out there and live.
let's get out there and kick their arses.

whoa, whoa, whoa.
YEAH, I SAID IT.
and i believe it.

we can do it.

goooooooo team!
&BREAK!

whats so important about the foreground?
my eyes make the transition of focusing not on where the world is obscured by the objects at hand
but at the spaces in between.
not the letters that form these words, but all the blank grooves inbetween.

and when you look at the stars, think of all the millions and millions of miles between them.
and the one directly over your chimney is only 20 lightyears away
but the one right next to its light has barely touched your retinas, it's been making its journey for 6000 years.
and what if you are the first person in history to witness its beauty?
what if you are that person, that person to marvel at the sky, when it will never know?

and no one would ever know,
but if it were something to be known or something to be felt
it would feel like your whole body went to sleep and is now waking up
with new vitality and reason for living.

thats how it feels, meaning something to someone.
but what if no one ever knows
and we all live with our eyes closed
our fingertips inside felt gloves,
i will never feel your skin
i will never see you smile.

no
i promise i will not live like this.



my handwriting will fill my skin,
"i need you so much closer"

hey you

GIVE ME CAMP PICS.

i'm glad i went.
i miss my best friends.

updates?

-i went to falls creek
-it was fun.
-joel is sick
-we don't know what's wrong with him.
-we've been working alot at Lindale, we have new renters.
-DSF at Hastings tonight
-Frontier City tomorrow(?)

yep.